By David Blair
Monday, November 4, 2013
(Published in print: Tuesday, November 5, 2013)
(Published in print: Tuesday, November 5, 2013)
http://www.ledgertranscript.com/home/9128705-95/the-long-journey-home
It was in early July this year that Lina
and I heard from Gaylord, a friend now living in Virginia who we knew
from our time in the Philippine Refugee Processing Center. Gaylord
worked for many years with Southeast Asian refugees, not only in the
refugee center but in the first asylum camp in Galang, Indonesia. He
left the refugee center in 1988, but not before becoming one of my
family’s dearest friends.
Gaylord has posted many photos of the
refugee center on the web. A young Khmer, or Cambodian, woman looking
for someone who knew the camp found him on the web and contacted him in
June; Belinda had an urgent request.
Her family fled Cambodia in the summer of
1986. They arrive in the Philippines not long after. Her father died on
Nov. 24, 1986, while still in transit at the refugee center, leaving her
mother and two brothers. Belinda was just conceived. He was buried in a
small cemetery at the camp. The family continued on to Long Beach,
Calif., in December, and Belinda was born on June 15, 1987.
She writes: “Growing up, my mother seldom
spoke of my father. But when she would, all she would say to my brothers
and I was, ‘You are exactly like your father — quick and smart’ or ‘You
have long and beautiful fingers and toes — just like your father’s. She
rarely spoke of details surrounding his death or her time at the camp
in the Philippines.”
Belinda continues, “When I was around 8 or
9, I remember overhearing one of those conversations between my mom and
one of her adult girl friends. My mother told her friend, ‘I wouldn’t
even know how to go back to the Philippines and find that cemetery —
it’s so foreign and we don’t speak the language.’ Being my optimistic
young self and naive, I thought to myself, ‘Why not?’ I kept this idea
in my head and voiced my opinion to my aunts and uncles and brothers
throughout my teenage years and of course, they thought I was crazy!”
Now, 27 years after her father’s death,
Belinda wanted to travel from her home in California to the Philippines
to find the grave, exhume his bones and have them cremated, then bring
his ashes back to the United States. In May, she booked a flight to
Manila with no idea how she would find the grave. Then she began to look
for help in this quest. This is why she contacted Gaylord.
Gaylord forwarded her message to us, and
Lina took over. She knew the location of the cemetery, but it was not
certain that Belinda would be able to find the grave if she was able to
gain access to the camp. Belinda was to arrive in Manila on July 25 and
the camp, or more correctly, the Bataan Technology Park that took over
the land where refugee center once stood, was to close down on July 31,
terminating its employees and closing its gates.
Even assuming Belinda could get permission
to enter the area and find the grave, there were many permits needed
from local government: to exhume the body, to cremate the bones, to
bring the ashes out of the country. All these things would have to be
arranged in a very short period of time. Lina knew the procedure, as
she’d helped other families through the process in the period before the
camp closed in 1994, but she didn’t underestimate the difficulty of
pulling this off before the deadline. Belinda was arriving at the site
two days before the camp closure.
Lina was on the phone, email and Facebook
right away, talking with friends in Morong below the camp. Ramil was the
first person Lina connected to. He helped her contact Espie, the
financial analyst at the Technology Park, who was key in negotiating
access to the cemetery. Espie’s husband, Abet, handled all the paperwork
on the outside. Lina worked closely with them and stayed in touch with
Belinda as best she could.
On July 29, Belinda sent us this message,
using “Ate” to address and/or name respected female
It did not take months, or even weeks.
Magically the right doors opened, permissions were given, and on Aug. 3,
Belinda’s father was exhumed and cremated. Belinda returned to the U.S.
on Aug. 15. She wrote recently: “Yes, I carried my father’s ashes home
safe and sound! My brothers, and I plan to spread his ashes in the ocean
on his death anniversary, on Nov. 23.
Yes, you may write the story! .... In fact,
I plan to create an online blog just as Gaylord did so others can learn
how I did what I did and hopefully inspire others to do the same.”
Belinda’s father began his long journey
when he fled Cambodia with his family in 1986. He and his wife and two
sons arrived in the refugee center full of hope for a brighter future,
as well as grieving the loss of their homeland. An unexpected grief was
added when he died and his wife traveled without him to the U.S., where
she gave birth to Belinda.
Now 30 years later, Belinda has returned to help her father complete his journey, and her journey has become woven with ours.
David Blair of Harrisville is the
cofounder and former executive director of the Mariposa Museum & World Culture Center in Peterborough. He writes about his travels and life the Philippines.
cofounder and former executive director of the Mariposa Museum & World Culture Center in Peterborough. He writes about his travels and life the Philippines.
